Needs versus wants

As I mentioned in the previous post... last night was very sleepless with many hours spent with a tornado of thoughts and wrestling through prayer for God's peace in the midst of it all.

Now to most this isn't a huge thing but for a tired, hormonal brain...it has only seemed to grow exponentially.  I have been pondering through feeling selfish and extravagant as we try to get ready for the little guys arrival.  Justin and I were discussing this yesterday as we went yard saleing for some baby items.

The problem: Every thing in me struggles with all the American culture says you "must have" for a baby... you know the brand new everything... the name brand clothes and shoes... the top of the line furniture... and my list could go on.

I have noticed I am slipping into this mindset more and more as the days progress by with this pregnancy.... and I don't like it.

I think back to my days living overseas where a plastic bowl is what the infant is bathed in... sleeps in... sits in... and plays in to keep them out of the dirt. They may have a bigger hand me down shirt to wear and they do their business where ever they are and are wiped clean by a banana leaf. Baby items are hard to come by and rather expensive by their standards.

Many of you have blessed us with baby stuff that we are thrilled about using... a few things were bought ( technically before I realized we were expecting this little guy)... and many have asked what we need.

I struggle to answer this question as are any of these truly needs?  Now I do realize we live in the American culture and due to certain laws and social norms... there are some needs... like...
- we need a car seat for the little guy to keep him safe as we are driving the freeways of this great nation of ours.
- he needs some sort of diapers and clothes as social norm says I can't just let my child do his business wherever we are
- baby gates are important as our house is 2 levels and a bit bigger than a 10 by 10 mud hut

But most of the retail baby stuff is for convienence and the cute factor.   Not saying it is not helpful or oh my goodness adorable but more so a want than a need.

SO... with all of that rambled on... We have no showers planned yet but we do have registries set up of some of our need items but mostly our "wants" just because some of these items would be helpful and some just plain cute!

Amazon... under Justin's name ...
https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/justin-czerniak-november-2018-lakeelsinore/2CYZCAI8UQYFK

Target.... Mainly just the carseat on this one but gift cards are always helpful from here as well.  And only 1 carseat is needed ... not sure why it is saying 3? Not having triplets!
tgt.gifts/0a14c75698304b23bb01dac8c8f56180

Buy buy Baby... this is where the bulk of our wants are listed!
Buybuybaby.com under Justin or Angela Czerniak

So with all that said... it is mine and Justin's heart to celebrate this upcoming little guy with friends and family... just as with our wedding adventure "registry" ... We want to spend time with the people in our life celebrating these blessings so whether it is a full shower or just a dinner out... it is you that are the true gifts in life that we can't live without! We want to spend time with you and we need your prayers, love, and support!

Somewhere over the rainbow....

So today my head and heart are filled with a mixture of emotions and thoughts. Many of which kept me up most of the night in prayer before God.

Today we are just a few days to being in the sixth month of this pregnancy and that much closer to meeting this little guy.

Today also marks my due date for the precious little one that we lost in December.

I had not given it much thought until I got a call this week from a lactation consultant wondering if I had given birth yet. This led into a conversation with this unknowing dear lady about the miscarriage. She was very apologetic but it wasn't her fault... my file with them just had not been updated.

After sharing my new due date with her and hanging up the phone... the tears flowed freely as a scab on my heart was opened again. A scab that will forever leave a scar of the unknown child that I won't get to meet face to face until I get to heaven.

Isaiah 40:31 has been a great comfort as I have put my hope and trust in the Lord and He has renewed my strength.

I also can rejoice in the fact that God has truly blessed us with this little rainbow baby that is currently growing in my womb as a sign of His faithfulness and how He does hear prayer. Maybe not in our time but all the glory and praise goes to Him!

Journaling

For mother's day... Justin gave me this beautiful journal to write down the thoughts on my heart and mind while carrying this little guy (and maybe as he grows up as it has a lot of pages in It!).

Even a month and a half later my mind is a bit overwhelmed (in a good way) by all the changes that this little guy is bringing with him.

This past weekend while my hard working hubby was slaving away in the 100+ degree heat doing yard work I was propped up in my new rocking recliner in front of the fan with my pens, new journal, and phone in my lap.

I started pinteresting journaling ideas... went a little crazy pinning ideas... tired myself out.... and took a nap.... SO... I just started tonight.

I have also started tonight by writing a few topics I would like to expand on in word and picture and wrote an intro.

So I need your feedback... if you kept a journal while pregnant or while your littles were growing up... what nuggets of wisdom or topics did you share? Or if you didn't but wanted to... live vicariously through this opportunity and let me know what you would have written or how you would have set your journal up!

Looking forward to sharing more in the future as this calms my mind and helps me to sleep... and sleep is a much need commodity these days while growing a small human!

Halfway there!

I have treaded very slowly on posting full body picts while being pregnant. Each persons body is different and I have never had a "perfect in the world's eye" body but I have come to the point where as long as I am happy and healthy ... I am thrilled with what my body has been able to do and the places it has taken me.

So on this journey... my body is growing a small human and there are times I wonder if my body will ever be the same. I am trying to eat healthy and spend time with my personal trainer weekly. So far I have gained around 6 pounds at 20 weeks. Baby is about 14 ounces as of my last Drs appointment and he seems to be developing on target.  Please continue to pray for healthy growth and development for this little guy and health and strength for mommy over the next 20 weeks until we get to meet him!

The second reason for this picture was inspired by a friend that did weekly picts when she found out she was pregnant with her first to show the changes of her body and the baby's room.  We are currently turning one of our guests rooms into the baby's room... this pict is step one... cleared out! We got rid of our full size bed that was in there and have started organizing the closet. The goal is over the next 20 weeks to slowly but surely get the room ready for our little guy.

One a side note... the room whether it was a girl or boy was going to be blues and greys with an adventure theme. When we picked out paint... Justin mentioned ... you know we are going with traditional blue for a boy... but in my mind ... it would have been this scheme either way!

Life changes

There is a fairly new song out by Thomas Rhett entitled "Life Changes".

https://youtu.be/MKfJk8hIE0s

One of the lyrics is...

Ain't it funny how life changes
You wake up ain't nothing the same and life changes
You can't stop it just hop on the train
You never know what's gonna happen
You make your plans and you God laughing
Life changes (yes it does) and I wouldn't change it for the world

Every time I hear this song I can't help but think of all the changes we are going through... changes to out house in trying to get ready for baby... changes to my body as it grows and adjusts... changes to sleep patterns... changes to our relationship as we balance work, doctors appointments, still being newly married with a baby on the way, and a recent addition of a furbaby...

I have tried to keep an open mind and set no expectations as I am reminded... we plan and God laughs! There are so many unknowns about this little guys arrival... the how's and when... and I can worry about it or I can trust that my creator has a great plan and purpose for this little guy.  We are blessed beyond belief to have life changing in so many ways!

Life chamges and I wouldn't change it for the world!